Ever dream of me
by ShadowDianne
Summary: It was still too much of a response, far too heavy, far too meaningful and she sighed looking at Regina, pale and tender, and soft and beautiful and many other things Emma had never tried to name them.


A/N Asked by pauavalon, (songfic based on Ever dream of nightwish) This is also partially misslane1981 fault since she has been doing a lot of Dark One Emma and I'm just a mere human xD

Set on: Camelot 5A

 _And it burned, it burned until everything that was left was the ghost of the tears she had tried to dismiss._

Ever dream of me

"Do you know" She said in the middle of nowhere, Camelot and Merlin and secrets that run far too deep that almost rooted the two of them to the ground echoing on the way her voice almost broke, tiredness marrying her features, making her tremble, the feeling of the wind against her body far too much for a second. "What I will ever regret?"

And it was a stupid question, one that she wasn't supposed to be doing, that she wasn't even supposed to think about. It was a bad question, a wrong turn into the path both Regina and herself had willingly taken the day they had met. It was the turn, the curve, that the two of them knew it existed, that the two of them had contemplated it. And yet they had never go there.

Regina's posture changed instantly, her eyes hardening, fear appearing on the way she clutched the dress' fabric, so tightly that her fingers turned white as her lips morphed into a straight line. Fear, fear that floated between them, coming out of her, the scent of magic reaching Emma's senses, making the part of herself that was starting to get lost on the vastness that was the dark one's magic to jump with joy.

Emma resisted though, she needed to.

"Emma"

The name was said softly, warningly, and the blonde sighed. A moment of silence, two, the wind blowing now between the leaves, the rustling music of the forest gyrating slowly around them.

"What would have happened if you would have been the one laying on the table?" The blonde finally said, dismissing her first question, not sure herself if she was ready for that answer, for what it meant.

Regina merely blinked, red and green around her, her hair framing her face, looking perhaps younger, the reflection of someone Emma never had had the opportunity to meet.

The blonde tried to swallow the sudden tiredness and anger she felt growing on the pit of her stomach, magic receding, twisting, curling, licking her insides, waiting.

"I don't understand"

"I think you do"

And yes, Regina did because Emma knew what would have been the outcome, what would have happened, what she would have done.

"Emma"

This time it wasn't a warning but a soft plea, the plea of leaving that conversation behind, to forget about it like they had been doing ever since Emma had known that the only way they would be able to defeat the trigger would be together.

"Be safe" The blonde finally said "Just promise me that, I know that you don't own me, that you don't need to be promising anything to me"

It was painful, but true and Emma looked at her hands, strangely pale, perhaps glimmering under the sun's light.

"But please, for Henry?"

Futile excuse, one that laid heavy on her tongue, a soft sigh reaching her ears, making her tremble.

"For him?"

And as Regina stared at her Emma knew that no, that the answer wasn't meant to be said, like many other moments that weren't supposed to be remember. Like the day she had looked at Regina and had known it.

She couldn't however, wouldn't.

"Please" She replied instead, and the two of them stood there, in the slowly darkening forest, next to Merlin's tree, magic thrumming, alive, around them, breathing at the same time they did. Or, in Emma's case, tried to.

It was still too much of a response, far too heavy, far too meaningful and she sighed looking at Regina, pale and tender, and soft and beautiful and many other things Emma had never tried to name them.

Regina stared at her feet, the last bit of light catching the jewels she wore, giving Emma a twinkle the younger woman decided to take it as a yes.

Like many other things she had never had an actual answer. A real response, one she would never doubt about.

But they were them, they never exactly worked with answers, just with stolen moments.

"I can't sleep anymore" She continued, and she still could feel Regina's ardent look, the one the brunette had given her with Robin on the table, about to die, life hanging from a thread so thin it couldn't be seen. "I've tried to but…"

And it was a comment it didn't have an answer, a conversation that had been finished even before it actually started. But Emma wanted to say it, wanted to tell someone about her visions, her fears, the sensation of slowly losing herself, of becoming something she wasn't, a mere shadow of what she had intended to be.

"I'm not sure what will happen"

Regina hummed at that and as the breeze caressed their cheeks, like the touch Emma so desperately wanted to receive, the blonde thought on the thousands of things she wanted to ask, on the things she would never know.

 _Do you love me?_

 _Do I?_

A doubt she could never quench, a question she would never have as hers.

"You won't be alone" The older woman replied, taking a step forward, ethereal almost on the way she eyed Emma's, not fear or repulse on them, just warmth, the promise of a sleep Emma had found herself deprived off. The shadow, the ghost, of a dream she had had once, back when she had been on New York and everything she knew was what later on she had realized was an already liven life.

Back when she had woken up with hands as fists over her chest and a name she promptly forgot as soon as consciousness took over her cursed memories.

 _Would you be with me? Would you trust me?_

"Are you sure of that?" She asked instead and she cringed realizing how cold, how tired, how far gone she actually sounded.

Regina nodded though, eyes ablaze, fingers as if reaching, as if she would actually touch her.

"Your parents will never leave your side"

 _Will you?_

"I'm not worried about them"

And they knew it, knew it like they knew why Emma had taken that step forward, pushing herself between Regina and the dark magic, no second thought, no hesitation.

It was almost petulant the way Emma let her head rise, looking at Regina, lips parted, beautiful as ever, as will ever be. It was childish but she allowed herself that, for a second at least.

"I wasn't thinking about them" She said for a second time, enunciating her words softly, a shrug at the end, nonchalance she didn't feel, easiness that wasn't there.

And you know it.

She was pushing it and so she crossed her arms, feeling far too much, fire on her lungs.

"Hook will also be there" Regina whispered and Emma wanted to laugh at that, mirthlessly, bitterly.

"And you?"

It was blurted, not thought and for a second the two of them stood in stunned silence, a few feet away from each other, wind and solitude, secrets, far too many secrets pulling them apart.

"You know the answer" Regina replied and Emma licked her lips because no, she didn't.

"Tell me" She heard herself saying and it almost made her smile even though she felt terrified.

Terrified because what she wanted was to be able to open her eyes and found herself back in New York but with Regina at her side, sleeping next to her, laugh lines around her eyes and a ring on her finger and it burned, and it made her want to drown just to be able to think.

Terrified because she desires too much, lusted too much, loved too much and she wasn't supposed to feel that way, not with Regina, not so quickly, not so deeply.

Terrified because it felt right, far too right and she knew, she hoped, she wished, that Regina saw that too.

"Just tell me" She whispered for a second time.

The caress on her cheek came completely unexpected, cool and softness that disappeared far too quickly and yet a presence so strong that made her blink.

"I will be there"

 _I will._


End file.
